Sunday Connection Talk 7/7/2024

To watch my Sunday Connection Talk, receive a energetic smudging and get your weekly Oracle insight watch my video: https://youtu.be/KQ0ZYOTxflw

Resources from video -

Holistic Doctor - https://www.facebook.com/healingpathsnaturopathic

Books- https://a.co/d/0hKHHKYS and https://a.co/d/0cZ2hdtp

Chamomile Tea Magickal benefits - https://www.learnreligions.com/chamomile-2562019

Sunday's main talk:

It's incredible how our bodies retain memories of past experiences and trauma, even if we're not consciously aware of them. These memories can resurface unexpectedly at any moment. The other night, shortly after getting the puppy, I was feeling exhausted from a long day. I had been spending a lot of time online rearranging events for my Goddess Sisterhood group, for which I'll be hosting circles throughout the year. I also had an appointment with a new holistic doctor located about 40 minutes away. It was a busy day with a lot going on.

I was really sleep deprived at that point. Crystal doesn't function well without enough sleep. It was around 9:30 PM and I had gone to bed at about 7 PM to catch up on sleep. I got up to check on the puppy and then went to get my electrolyte drink because I needed it.

I had to open the electrolyte drink, but I was so tired! I was using a tiny knife to cut the top of the bottle, and then, oops, I accidentally slipped. I cut my left hand with the point of the knife, but my first initial reaction was, "oh my gosh, what did I do?" I hesitantly looked and it was bleeding, but it didn't look deep. So I put a paper towel on it and went to bathroom, get a band aid.

For some reason, automatically, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. My body started reacting as if it was like a horrific cut, which it wasn't. I just started sweating. My head started getting dizzy. I got real thirsty.

I woke my husband up, as he was about to go to work for a night shift. I sat on the floor, feeling very vulnerable. I was draped over a chair, holding one hand to my face. At that point, I could barely talk because my nerves were overwhelming me, and I felt like I was going to pass out.

I told him, "You have to look at it." I held my hand out for a while and said, "Please look at it and make sure it's okay." He examined it and reassured me, "It's fine. It's just a little nick. Put a band-aid on it and you'll be good. It's okay."

He asked me what I needed. I told him I needed a wet washcloth, so he brought me one. Then he asked if I needed anything else. I said I needed something to drink, so he brought me electrolytes. I was just focused on breathing and coming back to center, telling myself, "It's okay, it's okay," and processing everything. Then, after about 20-30 minutes, I got up and was like, "What happened?"

"Why did I react that way to a tiny cut? I mean, I've had some pretty extreme physical experiences like knee surgery, heel surgery, and being in an auto accident. I always want to understand where these reactions come from, so I can address the root cause and avoid experiencing it again."

So I was wondering where this came from. I started talking to my body and asked my spirit guides to give me some guidance on this. I also wanted to let my husband know that I was okay, because he was nervous about leaving for work. I reassured him that I was fine and that everything was okay.

Why is this happening to me? Why am I reacting this way? Why is my body reacting to it this way, knowing that it's just a little thing, it wasn't that big of a deal? And then I remembered, 23 years ago. This is how long our body holds on to things, 23 years my body has been holding on to this trauma.

23 years ago, when I was with my son's father, we were in our 20s. At the time, my son was about three years old and my son's dad had gotten a DUI. Since he made more money than I did and we needed him to continue working, I quit my job as a daycare teacher to drive him to work. He worked in construction, putting in doors and base and other things in new houses, and he hired me to work on his crew. Even though he was my husband and boss, we didn't get along very well. We were young and inexperienced, trying to raise a baby without much knowledge about life and relationships.

It was a very challenging relationship to begin with, but I did what I felt I needed to do. I came on as his crew member. One day, during the last job we did together, we were frustrated. It was a rough day for us, hot and we just wanted to finish the house and be done. We were arguing, and I went into the other room to lay some base. I had electric skill saw, I was working with on a piece of base and all I had to do was just cut the edge off to fit it in this little spot.

I was so frustrated with him. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, and I went to cut the piece pf base and it got stuck in the wood and it jumped back, nearly cutting my left pointer finger off. I remember I dropped the saw, grabbed my finger because I knew I did something, but I didn't know what, all I knew it was bleeding. I automatically went into a closet in the house to sit down, and called for my son's dad, telling him that I needed to go to the hospital.

I told him, "I feel like I'm going to pass out. We need to go to the hospital now." He argued that he wanted to finish the house, but I insisted, "I need to go to the hospital. We're going now." Hours later, after seeing two doctors and finding an emergency surgeon, my finger was put back together. I have multiple scars around my finger from the surgery.

The tip of my finger is completely numb. It was in a cast for about three months, and then I had to do physical therapy. They actually said I wouldn't be able to bend my finger, but I really worked hard in physical therapy to be able to bend it normally. So, when I got that little cut from a kitchen knife on the same hand, it triggered the trauma experience from 23 years ago. My body remembers. I wasn't even thinking about it. I haven't thought about that experience in years.

I just remember focusing on my breath, over and over again. Just breathing. You can't panic in those situations. If you panic, you might pass out or something worse. I managed to stay calm both times, even though I felt like I was going to pass out. It was really scary when those memories came back because of a small cut, and I do remember I didn't feel supported in the relationship at that time.

You know, it doesn't matter about the relationship itself, but I just didn't feel supported, especially in that situation. So when I went to my husband about this issue, he took care of me. I know that he supports me in every way. I'm still reflecting on the experience and trying to understand why that was brought up 23 years later. There are many layers that I'm processing through about both situations. More than anything, it's a reminder to me that if I don't let go of the traumatic experiences in my past, my body will definitely remind me, until I actually let them go and embrace healing.